My New Favorite Virus Scare Popup

Your Hard Disk May Have Trojan Virus!

It May Crash Your Data!

Please do not open internet browser for your security issue to avoid data corruption on your registery of your operating system! 

*All misspellings, grammatical errors, and logic defying statements are the property of their original author.

The Great Nicknames are Always Taken

The sales manager had an assistant that we referred to as Meat. Another coworker gave him this nickname because he was about as useful as a slab of meat. He didn't work out and was quickly replaced by a young lady we nicknamed Tofu even before she started because we had high hopes that she would be the complete opposite of Meat, or in other words, useful. 

She quit after a couple of weeks, taking a great nickname with her. You can't just reassign it to somebody else, right? 

Overheard at the office #24

Cowoker: The coal and oil companies could move to solar right now, they're just being lazy.

Yep, it has nothing to do with the billions of dollars they're making doing what they're doing.  Nor is it the millions of dollars they would have to spend to change out equipment and processes.  And it certainly isn't the inability to recoup all that cost.  Nope, they're just lazy.

World Record Malware Infestation

Here's ours, what's yours?

That's 3856 detections if it's too small to read. Making this even better, this laptop was only 2 weeks old at the point of this screenshot.

Overheard at the office #23

Overheard in the datacenter while cabling up the KVM. I'm concerned more about why he seemed satisfied he had found the USB ports.

Coworker: ...where is the monitor port on this router?

Overheard at the office #22

An obviously confused suit was giving other confused suits a tour of the facility.


Suit: And over here you'll see the <<looks down at paper>> conformal coating booth... where we ummm... coat things... conformally.


Background: I was working as a bench technician and circuit boards came in by the hundred from assembly. I would test them all, repair the ones that didn't work, and then take them to coating once I had a box of working boards. Conformal coating is a thin protective coating that is sprayed over a circuit board to protect the board, components, and solder from oxidation and other enemies of circuitry. There was a large ventilated booth and pretty much an airbrush kit. I don't know if it's still done by hand, but that's how it was done then.

Overheard at the office #21

Coworker: No, I can't log in... When I try logging in, it gives me a goofy little error and puts me back to the login screen.

A goofy little error, why didn't you just say so? I've got that right here in the knowledge base.