Overheard at the Office #34

Coworker, reviewing the vulnerability scan's report: ...so we need to disable FTP, Telnet, and TCP on all these printers....
Me: WTF?  You can't disable TCP!
Coworker: Yeah, all these are TCP vulnerabilities, we need to disable TCP.
Me: Well, I guess that will mitigate all risk for the printer....

Overheard at the Office #33

Coworker on the phone with a client:

Yeah, but that doesn't always work. Because of the way memory works these days, what with capacitors and such, it doesn't always erase it all when you reboot. Sometimes you have to shut it down for a minute

Me to a different coworker on Lync:

Are you hearing this?

Overheard at the office #32

This one comes courtesy of my current job, and thankfully I was just a fly on the wall as it went down.

User forgets password and calls I.T.
User is able to log in once.
User locks account again.
User calls IT again.
User gets password reset.
User is unable to come up with a new password, calls IT for help.
IT refuses to make up a password for user.
User finally comes up with password, but Active Directory won't take it.
User is upset and sends manager to go talk to IT.
Manager talks to IT, discussion eventually leads to 3 members of IT staff getting involved in this dilemma.
It is eventually noticed that users's chosen password contains the user's entire first name, hence the problem.
Third member of IT suggests changing one of the letters in the password to a symbol that looks similar to one of the letters in users name, DC accepts this password.
User's manager is rushed out the door.
IT all goes out for a smoke break, even the ones who don't smoke.

Overheard at the office #31

We had a period where Donald was transferring calls and everyone that called in was Nick.  There was a Nick at one of our clients, and he did call in a lot, but still.   Ring Ring, it's Nick from CompanyA. Ring Ring, it's Nick from CompanyB. Donald, I'm sure that was a woman.

At least he usually got the name of the company right, so that was a start.

Overheard at the office #30

It's about 5:15 on a Friday afternoon, I'm wrapping up something and trying to get out the door. Unfortunately Donald had different ideas and transferred a call over to me.

Caller: I just bought this fax machine and I'm having trouble setting it up.
Me: settles in for a very long call while caller rambles on about $Diety only knows what

Overheard at the office #29

$BOSS asks Sven a technical questions, Sven looks over at me.
$BOSS: Don't ask him, I want to know if you know.
Sven: I don't need to know everything, I've got Alan.
$BOSS: What are you going to do if Alan leaves?
Sven: I'm going with him.
Me: I can probably get you a desk, but I don't know about getting you on the payroll.

The cast of characters

I don't think I've ever posted this.

When I started at $COMPANY, it was manned primarily by Mitch and Glen. Miguel was part time and focused primarily on special projects. Armando is the owner, Daniel was the Operations Manager. Donald, who is Armando's father, mans the front desk. Finally, Max is in Daniel's office doing telemarketing and other sales functions. There was one other employee, Alex, who was still ours but permanently placed with a large client.